And all that entails…

God Save The Queen January 27, 2013

Filed under: Humor — confessionsofathirtysomethingteenager @ 10:24 pm
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DSC_0060So I’ve been gone for quite some time, but due to a nagging feeling to return to my pointless ramblings and the coercion of a friend I’ve decided to give my blog another go. So much has happened since my last post but one of the definite highlights was visiting England. Now, if you’ve paid any attention to my previous posts you would know that I love English accents, so visiting England was like an alcoholic at a bar! My boyfriend is from Manchester (yes that is one of those things that’s happened since my last post), so being in England with an actual Brit was brilliant. I flew in to London, and from the moment the plane started to land I was in love. If you ever get the chance to visit London, I definitely recommend landing at night. The view of the city with all the lights is amazing! London is like no city I’ve ever visited. It’s got this really cool vibe, mixing old with new. I loved being able to walk across Tower Bridge and then look across the River Thames and see City Hall.DSC_0018 It’s like Hamlet meets David Bowie. Being from a small town in Kentucky seeing all these iconic things up close was an experience I’m not likely to soon forget.DSC_0040 I fully enjoyed being immersed in this different culture (Did you know they eat baked beans for breakfast?). I discovered there are numerous different “English” accents and I refrained from trying to use mine. I also discovered crumpets, which are super yummy and one of the things I miss a lot! And if you are a fan of Indian food there is no short supply of take aways (take-out for you Americans). Ironically I was there for 15 days and never ate fish and chips (french fries for you Americans). Overall the experience was one of the greatest I’ve had in my whole life. Climbing on a plane and flying 4000 miles by myself made me grow up a little bit. Something you all I know I try to resist, or maybe I didn’t. Maybe only a crazy teenager would hop a flight to a different country by herself and not worry at all. All I can say is I have no regrets and I think that’s what I’m going to make this new year about, no regrets. Oh and getting more crumpets because let’s face it what goes better with tea than crumpets.Union-flag-460x276


Deep Confessions January 26, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — confessionsofathirtysomethingteenager @ 9:05 pm
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So I started this blog because I love to write, and I thought it would be a fun way to express my sometimes weird viewpoints. I fully intended on announcing from the rooftops…I HAVE A BLOG! COME READ IT! But instead I secretly started it and even took a couple of days to tell my husband. I slipped it into our conversation very nonchalantly, as if I were talking about a good book I had just read.

After I started the blog I suddenly felt all self-conscious, and well scared about people who I know actually reading what I write. It also felt like I was letting people into my own private thing. So instead of shouting it from the rooftops I told two people. That’s right…two. I really don’t know why I can’t get past this fear. Normally I am the loud boisterous person in the center of the room commanding everyone’s attention but when it comes to this writing thing I am that scared high school teenage girl trying desperately to blend into the wall.

Maybe one day I will step into the sun and take a deep breath and yell as loudly as I can about my blog…this is definitely a to be continued moment.

May I have your attention please...


Jordan Catalano will you marry me? January 15, 2012

Filed under: Humor,Uncategorized — confessionsofathirtysomethingteenager @ 12:43 am
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I absolutely love teenage drama T.V. shows.  I love the feelings I get when I see the characters go through all of the trials of young adulthood.  Teen pregnancy, experimental drug use, first love, first heartbreak, first sexual encounters all have me glued to the screen.  I think part of the appeal is remembering how I felt during that tumultuous time.  Most people say they wouldn’t go back to that time of their life, but I try hard to not leave it.  To me it was great because you felt everything so intensely.  I mean when you fell in love; you fell hard.  Everyday was new adventure in things that you had never tried before.  All your dreams felt attainable and exciting! And even though life felt miserable and awkward, you at least felt something.

One of my favorite teen T.V. shows was My So-Called Life.  This show ran for one season from 1994-1995.  I was fifteen years old and man could I relate to that show.  The main character was a fifteen year old girl named Angela Chase portrayed by actress Claire Dane.  She was naive and awkward and completely relatable.  They only made 19 episodes and I was extremely upset when the show was canceled.  The show explored topics of bullying and drinking, but one of the main themes was Angela’s internal conflict over her crush…Jordan Catalano.  He was the perfect guy in my opinion.  He was portrayed by actor now musician Jared Leto and I was mesmerized.  But it was more than his piercing eyes, it was the way he spoke (which was sparingly) and the way he carried himself.  I desperately wanted Jordan Catalano to move to my school.  So much to my delight the other day I was channel surfing on discovered that IFC plays reruns of the show.  I quickly set up my DVR to record all episodes and started watching them in order.  I was instantly transported back to being fifteen years old.  The show still seems so relatable to me all these years later and even though this may be completely inappropriate I am still in love with Jordan Catalano. 

Maybe one day I’ll grow up and try to be more responsible, but for now I’m happy stuck somewhere in my teen angst and nagging adult responsibilities.  And Jordan Catalano if you won’t marry me would you at least make-out with me in the boiler room at the high school?


Solitary Sex January 12, 2012

Filed under: Humor,Uncategorized — confessionsofathirtysomethingteenager @ 10:51 pm
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I love working on reports!

I was reading an article in Glamour magazine when I came across an interesting fact.  The article was a sorta Q&A where men were polled on different questions ranging from ‘Who would you most like to have a beer with?’ to ‘If you were in a woman’s body for one day, what would you most like to do?’  Of course the answers were exactly what you would expect such as, the answer to the latter question…43% of men surveyed said ‘I would want to experience a female orgasm.’  But the one response to the question of ‘Where is the weirdest place you’ve masturbated?’ honestly had me intrigued.  31% of men surveyed said they had masturbated at work.  Now 31% isn’t a huge number, but it was enough to make me wonder what kind of professions these 31% had.  I know that bosses sometimes have trouble keeping employees off the computer playing solitaire or texting on their cellphone, but honestly I never imagined they’d have to keep them from masturbating.  It gave me a whole new outlook on the mid-afternoon quickie.  Who knew it was with yourself?  The rest of the day today everytime I looked at one of my male co-workers I wondered if he was one of the 31%, which caused me to not get much work done.  So thanks Glamour for some thought provoking reading!


Textually Active December 14, 2011

Filed under: Humor,Uncategorized — confessionsofathirtysomethingteenager @ 6:22 pm
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I love to read.  I love all kinds of books, but some of my favorites are older classics such as one of my all time favorites, Pride and prejudice.  Part of what I love about the story are the letters written back and forth by the characters.  Of course no one really writes letters anymore, unless you count emails as letters.  All this got me to thinking about the way we communicate with each other in today’s world, and it would be safe to say almost everyone texts.  Of course being a thirtysomething teenager means I send a lot of text messages.  This isn’t the best form of communication, I mean somethings are conveyed face to face with just a look and that just can’t happen with texts.

So as I was thinking about all this texting I got to thinking about some of the worst kind of texters out there, so I compiled a list…..

The Delayed Texter- These are the people who you know ALWAYS have their phones, but when you text them it always takes forever for them to text you back.  I mean is it really possible that every time I text them they are somewhere they can’t text me back?!?  Perhaps it means that they don’t really like me and this is their subtle way of letting me know, but one of these people is my sister.  Wait….maybe she doesn’t like me?

The Auto Correct Texter- These are the people who do not proof read their texts before sending them leaving a message that makes no sense what so ever.  I have a friend that is terrible about this.  He once sent me a text that read ‘I like donkey balls.’  Incidentally we were not talking about donkey balls at all.  These can lead to some pretty funny mishaps, but it also is annoying when you’re trying to get a question answered!


The Textese Texter- These are the people who refuse to text using anything other old school text abbreviations, so you end up getting a text that looks like this ‘g8 i cu n 10’ or ‘idk y r u l8’  Now I understand in the days prior to QWERTY keyboards on phones this was necessary, otherwise it would take forever to send a message but c’mon I hate having to decipher these messages.


And finally…

The Random Texter- These are the people who like to send the most random texts that sometimes come at bad times.  My mother is the worst offender of these random texts.  I was out-of-town for some training and it was 7:30 in the morning when I get a text from my mother that says ‘Did you schedule your pap smear yet?’  This of course was completely random seeing how I hadn’t spoken to my mother in a couple of days, and it certainly wasn’t about the gyno!  Often these texts are so random I think that maybe they weren’t intended for me.

This is just a small list of offenders I’m sure there’s more out there.  In a day when everyone is textually active I guess you have to be careful how you use your phone.


Once Upon an Idea December 13, 2011

Filed under: Humor,Uncategorized — confessionsofathirtysomethingteenager @ 8:43 pm
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I’m a writer.  I know you would have never guessed?!?! As a writer my mind works a little differently than others, I think.  It’s nothing for me to be standing in the check-out line people watching and all of a sudden my mind is narrating a story about the people I’m watching.  I sometimes keep narrating the stories long after they’ve left the store.  But most of these stories are just small blips.  They aren’t really ideas,it’s just the way my mind works.

I decided about six months ago that I was going to finally write a novel, a feat I never thought I could do because while I am a writer I also have other full time duties.  I started out on this adventure with with a great idea for my story, but after about 12,000 words I realized that what I thought was a great idea in reality didn’t have the staying power and so over the last couple months I have come to a stalemate with my dream.

I've got an idea, I swear!!!!!

I had all but given up on finishing my adventure when I was sitting on the couch watching my children play when the most brilliant idea I had ever had for a story came to me.  I immediately jotted down a quick outline, and even asked my 9 year old son his opinion.  I had never written young reader story, but was very excited about my new idea.  So now I’m embarking on a new adventure… The Peculiar Adventure of Daniel Privett.


Cereal Killers December 8, 2011

Filed under: Humor,Uncategorized — confessionsofathirtysomethingteenager @ 5:08 pm
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Being a thirtysomething teenager can often make being a parent fun.  I don’t get all caught up in following all the rules like exact bedtimes, bathing every night, or well-balanced meals every night.  Now before you go calling child protective services my kids go to bed at a reasonable hour, have a bath unless they stayed at home in their jammies all day, and I think most parents agree they don’t always give their kids the best foods (Happy Meal anyone?), but I try not to sweat the small stuff.

I must say after I had my first child I tried to follow all the baby books and magazine articles about how to care for a child, but honestly I found most of it ridiculous, so I threw all that stuff out and went with my instincts.  By the time my second child came around, I was far too busy to even try to follow the rules even if I wanted to with her.  So by the seat of my pants, I embarked on being a mother of two working a more than a full-time job with a husband that works crappy hours as well, and I think I’ve done a great job.  I have managed to have two happy children that I like to call “cereal killers.”

During the many nights of being too tired to cook, I would often ask my kids what they wanted to eat for supper.  After I got past the requests for candy or cheese, they always would ask for cereal.  Of course some of you might think I’m terrible for feeding my children only cereal for supper, but if it’s good enough to start the day off why not for supper?  I could think of worse things to feed them (Happy Meal anyone?).  Unfortunately I started an insatiable thirst that costs me a small fortune every week because cereal isn’t cheap.  My kids are somewhat cereal snobs and the cheap stuff doesn’t cut it, but it’s a small price to pay for a quick mess free supper.  So I say make your kids cereal killers and let go of the guilt of not slaving over a hot stove for supper every night!